2021.10.24 13:52 Special-Tower9547 My (33M) wife (32F) of 2.5 years has changed
My wife and I got married about 8 months before the pandemic started in our country. Before that, we had been dating for a few years and we fell head over heels for each other. From the beginning, we always had a lot of respect for each other since we have come from similar backgrounds and have similar anxieties. Every weekend was a new adventure even though we had very little money to our names and it felt perfect.
Since lockdown, however, it feels like things have shifted greatly, and it mostly has to do with alcohol. She regularly drinks on her own to a limit where she passes out on the couch. Because of this, she's often either drunk or hungover and it's affected many aspects of our relationship. We can sometimes have one evening where everything is great, but it's rare and always a small window.
I am continuing to try to improve my reactions and avoid enabling behaviours through weekly Al-Anon meetings and it has given me a new feeling of freedom. I've found new hobbies and have started hanging out with friends more often.
I'm writing in this subreddit since the advice I'm seeking is not directly related to the drinking (which woud fall under the Al-Anon sub). Instead, I wanted to ask for more general advice on how to find our equilibrium again. I feel like I'm putting in all of my energy into our relationship and getting extremely little back. I recently realised that I am now doing about 90% of the housework (laundry, dishes, cooking) while it used to be an even split. I also go out of my way to surprise her with special meals, weekend trips away or massages (as I enjoy making her happy), but I honestly can't remember the last time she has done any of those things for me. Every time I mention these feelings, she lists tiny things she's recently done (like sweeping up the living room or making toast) or she apologises, says she'll do better, then goes back to the same behaviour a few days later. It makes me feel like I'm just constantly being taken for granted.
Is it unreasonable to expect that we should put the same amount of work into the relationship? Is there a way to bring this up that won't lead to dismissal or an argument? Does anyone have similar experiences?
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2021.10.24 13:52 bairz54 Specialists Will NOT Ruin This Game!
I am so excited to see the strategies of squads as they advance on the objectives or defend points. It makes this game so much more dynamic!
Wanna play aggressive, McKay, Paik, Falck, and Dozer will be a great combo to hunt through scans and reveals. defend with an advancing ballistic shield and have Falck maintaining squad strength and health! All with rockets and c4
Want to play vehicle support? Load up with Irishs shield and smoke with a repair tool to hop out as a repairman from gunner with Falck as the driver as Paik and MCkay run flanks on the objective.
Wanna defend a point, go with Casper, angel, irish and Boris for sentry support, loadout and armor, drone support and health with a deployable cover for angles defense!
There are so much more strategies to this game I cannot wait to unlock all of them in a coordinated effort!
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2021.10.24 13:52 divinefunktress My goodness, this brought a huge smile to my face. 😍
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2021.10.24 13:52 AnyWhereas8 [H] Envato Elements account 30 days just - $6 [W] Paypa/BTC/
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2021.10.24 13:52 External_Fox830 can someone gift me light fruit
2021.10.24 13:52 bkshi Not atleast after that batting performance..
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2021.10.24 13:52 NotRealOpinions Brigette Lundy-Paine
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2021.10.24 13:52 kimbolll Unsure of what to do - girl [26F] wants to make things official and I [30M] am considering ending things.
I [30M] have been seeing a girl [26F] I met on an app for about 3 months now. We are not official yet, and I’m honestly grappling with the whole situation. She’s cute, nice, and it’s easy for us to talk, but I’m just not invested like she is.
For context, we both have a fairly limited dating history. She has only had two bfs her life, with a couple flings here and there, while I haven’t been official with someone since my early college days (with a few flings here and there as well). I’ve been pretty apathetical about dating my entire life. While people have often told me I’m fairly good looking, I’ve had a ton of social anxiety issues my entire life. Never thought I was good at dating, thought I couldn’t talk to girls, then thought I wasn’t experienced enough - it just spiraled into years and years of basically dating being something I was simultaneously not good at and scared of, so I mostly passively dated my entire life. I’ve mostly gotten my anxiety issues under control in the last year, and am in the best mindset to date than I ever have been my entire life.
When I met this girl, things seemed to go well. Like I mentioned, it was really easy for us to talk, and we were both more accepting of our limited dating experiences since we were both in a similar boat. That said, she’s a little overbearing. After the third date, she told me she deleted all her apps and only wanted to “talk” to me. I could read through the lines as to what she was getting at. She started FaceTiming me EVERY NIGHT. I’m not joking, literally every night. I obliged for a bit, but then it began to get so overbearing that I couldn’t even relax at night without expecting a call at 10:30 pm.
We kept hanging out, had gotten intimate (she’s always initiated, not me), and at one point had asked me what I was looking for. I had always thought I wanted a relationship, but I wasn’t ready for one at the moment. I’m not sure if it was her or that this was all new to me, but I told her I wanted to take things slow. That’s when I started to realize that something was wrong. I was talking to a buddy and described it to him this way: when you start dating someone, you have the “honeymoon phase” where all you want is to hang out with them. I don’t have that with her. Over the last 3 weeks, prior to most dates, I’ve said to myself that I’d just rather not hang out with her that day, or that it’ll only be for a couple hours and then I’d be home again relaxing.
With the way I’ve been feeling, I think the writing is on the wall, but I have reservations about ending it. One, I do care for her, she’s a sweet girl and I don’t want to hurt her. And two, with my spotting dating history, I’m kind of scared to let a “good thing” go. In the back of my mind, I almost feel like I’d be making a mistake, especially seeing as dating is so much more difficult at my age now.
For those of you who have better dating experience, can you share some insight/advice.
submitted by kimbolll to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2021.10.24 13:52 Shuffletron Diagnosing a sudden feeding problem [Gopher Snake] [Advice Appreciated]
This post is as much a therapeutic rant as it is a request for advice.
Well it’s finally happened, I’ve hit that point in every snake owner's career where the sadistic little sod decides to randomly stop eating just to watch you pull your hair out with stress as you desperately try to determine what you’ve done wrong.
So, I have a “year-and-a-bit” years old Gopher Snake. Since getting her ~6 months back her appetite has been everything you would expect from a Gopher. I had her eating within 3 days of arrival, eating off the tongs the next week, and she never refused a meal, even in blue.
Then in the last few weeks something changed, her appetite has dropped off a cliff. She ate only 2 of 4 meals in Sept. and none so far in Oct. She seems to have no interest in eating the mice. She will sniff them, poke them, and then wander off somewhere else. While I’m not too worried about her health yet, I would like to get to the bottom of this, just to be sure it’s not a serious problem or one that I am causing (and so I can stop wasting mice).
As things currently stand she is not losing weight (260g), her behaviour hasn’t changed at all (very active, slightly skittish, no defensive behaviour while being handled), she is still drinking and passing waste, and I give her a visual health check every time I weigh her (~every other week). As far as I can determine whatever her problem is, it’s not health related.
I’ve tried most of the standard feeding tips and tricks you find online without any notable success.
2021.10.24 13:52 daszwerver This terrifies me to no end. This still makes me wonder why the free world ever took a chance on the CCP.
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2021.10.24 13:52 juls1066 Thermostatic valve, do I turn the plastic nut left of right. Some videos seem to be turning it right?
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2021.10.24 13:52 Impossible_Bad_848 2021 NASCAR AUTHENTICS Daniel Suarez iFLY Chevy Camaro (DIE-CAST REVIEW)
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2021.10.24 13:52 loshvitalik Is there a way to disable confirmation in iOS 15 Shortcuts?
There were some actions in Shortcuts in iOS 14 that always required confirmation before start, such as "Connecting to Bluetooth device" automation. But they were few and far between.
But now after I updated to iOS 15 a lot of actions within shortcuts require Face ID auth and/or user input.
For example, now I can't automate Xiaomi Mi Home scenes with iOS shortcuts since it requires Face ID or unlocked phone. And even in my shortcut with user inputs, it's now more than twice the amount of taps to complete a shortcut: confirmation to delete a file, confirmation to switch apps, confirmation to open website, etc. Not to mention that the shortcut will not run properly if started from lockscreen notification.
It's possible that some of these limitations were on iOS 14, but as I have noticed especially with Mi Home scenes, all shortcuts privacy settings and permissons get reset after EVERY iOS update.
Personally I think it's my responsibility at the time when I'm creating the shortcut (I disabled shortcut sharing, so maybe ask for permissons only on shared ones?..), and then it's up to me to permanently allow the device to do things, not up to device to ask me every time or every iOS update. It's not an automation if it requires Face ID or user input, what's the point of that? Is there a setting to allow my Shortcuts to do things without me?
submitted by loshvitalik to ios [link] [comments]
2021.10.24 13:52 DthDrp4Dyz My first post here and not sure if this will be appreciated here, but did this look today inspired by Eivor from AC Valhalla. This was also a first attempt at doing this.
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2021.10.24 13:52 keith2301 We all think that at some time in our lives
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2021.10.24 13:52 fastengineerboi Can you guys help ? What am I doing wrong? Brand new Pan, coated in canola then put in the oven for one hour. Cooked a steak next day and left this residue. Tried rubbing it off with salt then re applied oil and dried on the stove. What should I do ?
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2021.10.24 13:52 Intelligent-Net-415 Enjoying the 4% back in Amp using my coinbase card😁. This is from the last week of using my card for day to day purchases.
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2021.10.24 13:52 Massive-Counter1234 I've been playing around with some different colours the last while and I quite like how these have turned out so far.
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2021.10.24 13:52 smrtsvima AKTUELNO: Joca i Nidža - Teša Tešanović nije spreman da ide do kraja u n...
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2021.10.24 13:52 Immediate-Hippo6046 Question about companion AI in OGSR
Does anyone know which script the companion AI uses in OGSR? I'm trying to fiddle with it but I don't know if it uses xr_combat_companion.script or something else
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2021.10.24 13:52 chouchoucatuhe My latest work
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2021.10.24 13:52 Vukov_Intrigued Am I doing it right??
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2021.10.24 13:52 Affectionate-Ad2615 Safe to alternate boron and Tongkat Ali indefinitely week on week off?
Consensus seems to be boron for for 2 weeks on, 1-2 weeks off
For Tongkat seems like 5 days on 2 weeks off for a couple months followed by a week or so off.
Wondering if week on week off for bother alternating is a safe regimen. Or do you think I should stack same week on and same week off?
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2021.10.24 13:52 snoopy369 Magic supplies in Bay Area
Hi! I am a dad of an aspiring junior magician who is starting to feel the limits of ‘at home’ magic supplies. We live in the East Bay (California). I tried searching for shops in the area, but I’m definitely not able to tell between a good shop and one that’s just a small rung up from Amazon… even for a young magician who is just starting, I tend to think getting good quality gear is better.
Is there anything good on this side of the bay, where my child could look around and pick out a few things he can do (and hopefully with a magician running the store that can guide him towards something appropriate)? If not, what about SF - I do see some possibilities there, but can’t tell for example if Houdini’s Magic Shop is just a tourist trap or legit.
For the most part he likes mentalism and illusions, he’s only barely begun learning sleight of hand (I suspect he’ll need a teacher for that as I’m terrible!). Most important I think is the breadth of options - he needs to find out what he enjoys and is able to learn, and hasn’t found that out yet. So far we have mostly been doing tricks from Penguin and trying to do simpler versions of things he sees on Fool Us.
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2021.10.24 13:52 atomlib_com Cursed tongue
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